I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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