She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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