this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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