i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize