i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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