Buhtt sex?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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