i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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