So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
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There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
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Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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