I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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