I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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