what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
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omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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