Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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