Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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