Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize