if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
is that a dick in a sweater?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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