letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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