Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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