apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
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Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i believe in u and ur pee
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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