i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
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He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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