He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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