Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize