she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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