mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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