I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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