using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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