it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
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i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
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Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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