i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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