She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize