Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
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The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
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I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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