Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize