Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
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I understand Curling. That high.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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