I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize