I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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