found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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