Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
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He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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