Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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