I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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