I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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