Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
thus making me awesome and them whores
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
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No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize