Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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