You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize