i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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