Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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