Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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