i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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