Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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