My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize