put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize