This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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