guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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